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Dear Reader,<\/p>\nDear Reader,<\/p>\n
What about romance? Yes, go ahead\u2014squirm a little, and get it out of your system. It\u2019s one of the trickiest topics in the world of books. One of the most embarrassing. And one of the most necessary to talk about!<\/p>\n
Because, dear reader, you are not a little girl anymore. Your books aren\u2019t little girl books. Somewhere along the way (oh, help! It was by the time you picked up middle-grade novels, wasn\u2019t it?) you started to find a new thread in your reading material. It was a thread that maybe embarrassed you\u2014maybe intrigued you\u2014but either way, had an unquestionable power, both over the story and over you, the reader. God made it that way. God made you<\/em> that way.<\/p>\n Because the thread was called romance. And it is yet another facet of navigating the world\u2014and books.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s start with some literary definitions. (Yes, girl, you can relax a tiny bit, and we\u2019ll cover some unemotional, technical stuff first!)<\/p>\n Originally, the word \u201cromance\u201d was a description of a tale of adventure\u2014a fabulous, improbable, fictitious tale of adventure, but not necessarily a tale about love.<\/p>\n Over time, the application narrowed to define a story built around the specific kind of love that God created to exist between a man and a woman, ultimately in marriage. And that leaves us with the two definitions of the word that exist in the world of books today.<\/p>\n When we speak of romance<\/strong> in literature we are referring to a plot device\/content label<\/em><\/strong> built around this concept of love between genders.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n By extension:<\/p>\n When we speak of a romance<\/strong> (or in the plural, romances<\/em><\/strong>) we are talking about a genre<\/em><\/strong> in which the main\/entire focus of the plot and content centre around this type of love.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Sounds simple? Well, going to Washington, D.C., and then discussing America\u2019s first president sounded simple, too! In point of fact, discussions about romance\/romances can get incredibly confusing (just as discussing Washington in Washington can!) because of this overlap of terms. In this post, I am mainly discussing romance (definition one)\u2014although most of the principles could also be applied to romances (definition two).<\/p>\n Yes, you want it to be black and white! Who doesn\u2019t? It\u2019d be so much easier if we could either open the door wide, or slam it satisfyingly in somebody\u2019s face. (Wow! This author is getting dramatic today.)<\/p>\n But I think we can all resonate with the longing for a clear-cut answer. Is romance\u2014in fiction\u2014a good thing, or a bad one? Does it get to come in, or should it stay out in the cold?<\/p>\n And the truly shocking thing that I\u2019m about to say, is that romance, as a literary tool, is morally neutral.<\/em><\/p>\n I was going to say romance, period, in or out of fiction, is morally neutral. But in light of the fact that it was specifically designed and blessed by God, I think we are compelled to go further than that, and say it is \u201cvery good.\u201d (Genesis 1:27-31<\/a>) But, like all very good things, it can be used in helpful and in harmful ways. Let\u2019s take a look at both, as they apply to the books we choose to read.<\/p>\n We all need role models in life. Ultimately, Christ is our perfect role model, but following in the footsteps of godly believers is something the Bible points out to us, too. (1 Corinthians 11:1<\/a>)\u00a0<\/strong>One of the most compelling reasons for including romance in literature, is to provide positive role models of what healthy, God-honouring romance looks like in the real world.<\/p>\n Romance that challenges us to seek spiritually-based relationships, to live holy, unselfish lives, and to reflect God\u2019s love for humanity through the love of dedicated believers, is extremely valuable!<\/p>\n We all have questions about navigating romance\u2014and upright, conscientiously-written fiction can be a wonderful way to find some of those questions answered, both on a theoretical level, and a practical one.<\/p>\n For the very reason that romance is powerful, Satan is eager to use it to lead the believer astray. Romance that leads to unholy, or all-consuming thoughts, that excuses wrongdoing, or that creates a world in which human love is the main objective of life, can be incredibly harmful.<\/p>\n And this is why almost all Christian readers have discovered that they need boundary lines in their reading. Which is where the topic gets tricky. Because not every person\u2019s boundaries are (or even need to be) in the same place. In fact, not every person\u2019s boundaries need to be in the same place, all the time.<\/p>\n Living is a work in progress! A book that is a harmful temptation at sixteen might be entirely innocent at thirty. Or, shockingly, a book that didn\u2019t do you any harm when you were a ten-year-old might be an unwise read a few years later. I have, personally, wasted a great deal of emotional energy trying to decide whether or not to purge certain books from my bookshelf, only to discover years later that what I actually needed was to set a book aside for a while\u2014rather than make a decision about it, one way or the other, for all time.<\/p>\n I say that cautiously. There are books which no Christian should read, ever. There are books which you, personally, should not read, ever. But there are also books that are helpful, sometimes, and harmful at other times. Seek to discover which books are helping, and which are harming, your spiritual life right now, today\u2014and to reflect that knowledge in your reading choices.<\/p>\n Yes, I am writing this post. And I\u2019m torn between the desire to smirk and the desire to cringe when I think about my family reading it. Not because I\u2019m ashamed of the things I\u2019ve said. But because my family knows full well that navigating the topic of romance is not<\/em> my area of greatest talent.<\/p>\n They know, in fact, that I am the author who prefers to run screaming from the building when the topic surfaces at all.<\/p>\n Navigating romance with grace may be a lifetime work-in-progress for some of us. We may be continually tottering between the attraction which romance naturally has for the vast majority of women God created\u2014and the guilt and terror of letting that attraction damage our spiritual lives.<\/p>\n But, dear reader, I want to remind you that you\u2019re not alone. Growing up is tough. Navigating romance is tough. Toughest of all, because even the people you love and respect aren\u2019t able to hand you a step-by-step checklist for getting through it without making mistakes.<\/p>\n Take your doubts and your questions to God. Remember that He made you. He made romance. He wants to walk beside you, as you navigate it both in fiction, and in the real world.<\/p>\n He doesn\u2019t<\/em> want you to wait till you have it all figured out.<\/p>\n He wants to journey with you, today.<\/p>\n You might also enjoy:<\/p>\n One of the striking things about growing up is that the author begins addressing the preface to you. And the words they write, for better or worse, are going to shape the girl you become. The Dear Reader series makes this rocky road a little easier.<\/p><\/div>\nRomance vs. Romances<\/strong><\/h5>\n
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Is Romance Good or Bad?<\/strong><\/h5>\nRomance that Helps You<\/strong><\/h5>\n
Romance that Hurts You<\/strong><\/h5>\n
Navigating Romance with Grace<\/strong><\/h5>\n
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